Who

[Kira]

just remember that he's with you for a reason and that his child is an important part of his life and as such, so is the mother. your relationship with your partner is exclusive from that and your feelings for each other have nothing to do with the kid, so it shouldnt have anything to do with her.



- abby

Thats what I dont like!!! how shes an important part of his life becuz she is tha mother of his child!! It almost feels like its being taken away from me in a way.....like well what am I going to be when/ if I decide to have a family with him....I think to myself "will me and my child (when I have one) always be second in his eyes" ......this is hard for me

[souldout]

Thats what I dont like!!! how shes an important part of his life becuz she is tha mother of his child!! It almost feels like its being taken away from me in a way.....like well what am I going to be when/ if I decide to have a family with him....I think to myself "will me and my child (when I have one) always be second in his eyes" ......this is hard for me

you really shouldnt be thinking about having a family with him if you cant even handle the fact he has one already.

[Kira]

Im not thinking of having one anytime soon.......thanx for ure help! Dont judge me tho please....I am jus confused!

[souldout]

Im not thinking of having one anytime soon.......thanx for ure help! Dont judge me tho please....I am jus confused!

not judging at all, you just seem like you got serious before thinking things through.

granted, things arent always black and white when you fall in love.

[Kira]

not judging at all, you just seem like you got serious before thinking things through.

granted, things arent always black and white when you fall in love.

I didnt think it would turn into anything serious to b honest!
And now that it has gotten serious.....a reality is being seen.

[RajaF]

You seem to be way to affected by his kid... by what you are saying now, the more serious things will get, the more affected you will be and things might not end well...

If I were you I would tell him these things... have a long talk and let him know how you feel...

[souldout]

You seem to be way to affected by his kid... by what you are saying now, the more serious things will get, the more affected you will be and things might not end well...

If I were you I would tell him these things... have a long talk and let him know how you feel...

you really think this has to do with the kid? unless his/her name is actually 'scapegoat', i dont really see it.

[RajaF]

you really think this has to do with the kid? unless his/her name is actually 'scapegoat', i dont really see it.

I am trying to be nice... besides, she might not even know that she is using the kid as an excuse yet... she needs to find out on her own

at scapegoat

[LauraBean]

dating someone with a kid really isnt a problem at all. its just dating and you really shouldnt be exposed to that aspect of their life unless you plan to make a commitment and get serious. if you are exposed to it and things arent serious, all you're doing is confusing that child and showing that both you and the parent are too selfish for your own good.

if you are serious however, it comes down to whether you're mature enough and feel ready to have that kind of shared responsibility. if you have to be asking yourself any of these questions, its a good indication that you arent ready.

^^^
This is great advice.



Before I even entered into the relationship and throughout, I have kept the understanding that no matter what happens I will always be put in second place. The child comes first and that doesn't reflect how he feels about me.

It is up to the two of you (once things get more serious) to decide on responsibilities and discipline. But know that he has final say in EVERYTHING to do with his son/daughter.


And yes, a child should have nothing to do with your feelings toward him.
If it does then you shouldn't be in this relationship.

[Sike-1]

kids are great.